It’s been a long time since I’ve had any guests here at Fizzy Thoughts, so today I’d like to welcome Cthulhu.
Softdrink: Howdy Cthulhu. May I call you Cthulhu?
Cthulhu: No, you may call me Great Old One.
SD: Ooops, so sorry Great Old One. Moving on…you’ve been around awhile, but you seem to have a limited cult following. Why is that?
C (GOO): I attribute it to that hack writer, H.P. Lovecraft. Have you ever tried to read that shit he churned out? It’s practically incomprehensible. He’s single-handedly ruined my reputation.
SD: So. Not a Lovecraft fan, huh? Can you recommend some authors or books that you do like?
C (GOO): Well, you know, it’s hard to go wrong with Poe. The Tale-Tell Heart is a personal favorite. For something more modern, Gaiman is good. I’d recommend American Gods. And I, Cthulhu…that’s a 5 star read. And of course, there’s always the Necronomicon, although it can be hard to find a copy. Oh, and yours truly has an important cameo in Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters.
SD: I gotta say, you’re notorious for conjuring up images of evil and terror. But you’re surprisingly easy to talk to.
C (GOO): Well, I do like bookish chat. Satan and Dracula and Darth Vader and I get together every full moon for our book club, Bookish Baddies. This month we’ll be discussing Pride and Prejudice…the original, not that zombified version. You should join us, it’s a hoot. And bring that goat of yours, too.
SD: Oh, wow, um, thanks for the invite. But you know, I’m not a P&P fan.
C (GOO): Well then, you’ll have something in common with the Dark Lord – he couldn’t stand it, either.
SD: Besides book club, what else have you been up to lately? Got any exciting plans you’d like to share?
C (GOO): Well, I’ve abandoned my plans for immediate world domination. This drop in reading is distressing…I’m just not interested in ruling a world of non-readers. So for now, Cthulhu fhtagn.
SD: Oh yes, your motto. Tell me, which translation do you prefer? Cthulhu waits, or Cthulhu dreams?
C (GOO):: Dreams, definitely. It’s so much more evocative, don’t you think?
SD: I agree. Well, I’ll let you get back to your books. Thanks for stopping by and chatting.
C(GOO): You are most welcome. See you at book club.