This post just might scare off anyone left reading this here blog. Instead of talking about books (which I might do tomorrow…maybe…if there’s anyone left), I’m going to talk about nekkid people. Specifically, those that I saw last weekend.
And yes…I know that you all think us Californians are weird. This will confirm that.
You may recall (or not) that one of the things I wanted to do in 2012 was participate in Bay to Breakers, which is a 12K race in San Francisco. The city of San Francisco is 7 miles across, from the Bay to Breakers (the Pacific Ocean). Somewhere along the way we picked up an additional .46 miles, but we did walk pretty much from the Bay to the Breakers.
The race has been around for awhile (this was the 101st year), and it is quite the event. Or more like An Event. Open to runners and walkers, most people dress for the occasion. Or fail to dress, in some cases. There are also party crashers…people who dress up and join in the fun for some or all of the race. Or just use it as an excuse to drink their way across the city. I think there were probably more party crashers than actual registered participants. I swear, for the first 2 miles, all I could smell was alcohol.
And for your amusement, I finished 21,768th out of 23,072 (we walked the whole thing…and we started at the back of the pack…and we stopped to take a lot of pictures…most of which unintentionally ended up with the aforementioned nekkid people in them and aren’t really suitable for this blog).
But all you have to do is envision a 7.46 mile block party, complete with costumes, drunken revelers, live bands, night clubs blaring music and selling drinks at 9am, and hordes of people, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what it was like. Here are a few pics (ginormous sized, so you can get the full effect):
This is us, mid-race. That’s me in the floppy blue sunhat. I also had striped socks on for the occasion. Totally stylin’ (or not, when compared to the other 40,000 people).
Garden gnomes! Unfortunately, I didn’t get a picture of the ones standing in the garden.
Sesame Street. Kinda. Note all of the people. It was like that for miles.
The banner says “STOP. It’s Hammer Time.” And they’d stop periodically and perform a choreographed dance to U Can’t Touch This. It was cheesily awesome.
How appropriate.
Not pictured: the woman wearing nothing but her shoes, tattoos, a poofy blue wig and a clown nose, numerous ugly men wearing nothing at all except something that I just can’t mention but that made a certain part of their anatomy, ummm, how do I put this…stand up?…the guy wearing only flower pasties, shoes, and his race bib, Pinocchio (imagine the worst), and the Captain and Stewardess who were wearing parts of their uniforms…just not the important parts.
The Camera Roll on my iPhone is currently a very scary place.
That’s it for me…what have you been up to?
What a trip! Looks like fun! (minus the unwanted nudity, of course
She´s last [type] ..Salvage the Bones – Jesmyn Ward
It was a blast!
Holy shit this looks amazingly awesome!!! I’m so putting this on my bucket list, Jill! BTW, you look beautiful
Thanks Chris! And it’s totally bucket worthy!!
I *knew* you must be off doing things! and I don’t see any nekkid butt in that picture – but is that a wee wee!?! goodness me.
Care´s last [type] ..Before I Go To Sleep
Yeah, it’s dangerous to look too closely at the pictures!
Oh my, that’d be fun to do just to watch everyone! I give those people lots of points for going out in public and showing all God gave them – I don’t have the confidence for that.
bermudaonion (Kathy)´s last [type] ..Kid Konnection: Between the Lines
These people had confidence in spades!
Hey, at least if you are off doing non-bloggy things, you make it worth your while! This looks like the party of the year to me. I can’t imagine that anyone actually RUNS this thing! More like a stumbling drunk fest! Thanks for the butt cheek bonus for my Saturday morning.
Sandy´s last [type] ..The Big Short – Michael Lewis
The winning time was 37 minutes. And yes, he was wearing clothes.
I don’t know whether to first congratulate you for checking “Bay to Breakers” off your list, or to close my mouth (jaw is currently unhinged after looking at the pics and reading your descriptions). Awesome, Jill!
Dawn – She Is Too Fond of Books´s last [type] ..Spotlight on Bookstores: Barnes & Noble in Park Slope, Brooklyn
Our jaws were unhinged for a good portion of the day, too.
Oh I love our state! Awesome photos
Helen´s last [type] ..Saturday Snapshot: May 26, 2012
Isn’t it fun?
This looks like so much fun Jill. Great photos to capture it all.
Diane@BibliophilebytheSea´s last [type] ..Saturday Snapshots – Picnic Visitors
Thanks! I think I’ve talked my mom into going next year.
Looks like you had a great time! It sounds like an experience. I have to laugh at all the naked people. In the heat they could get sunburns in interesting places!
Kailana´s last [type] ..Pinterest and Snapshot Saturday – May 26, 2012
That’s exactly what I was thinking!
Oh my goodness! That sounds freakily awesome! I LOVE it! Ha! I don’t mind getting a peep into the rest of the photos in your phone.
Athira´s last [type] ..Intl Giveaway – Make It Stay (Joan Frank)
My phone is now X rated.
The garden gnomes are my favorite.
They would stand in yards? Frickin’ awesome! We are no where near as cool in San Antonio.
Amanda´s last [type] ..80 lbs GONE!!!
There were some cool car hops on skates, too, but I couldn’t get a good photo of them.
The things you mention would have traumatized me. Bad enough seeing all the hairy beer guts mowing lawns here in the summer. *shudder*
Chrisbookarama´s last [type] ..Friday Bookish Buzz: Compelling Buzz
You see hairy beer guts, I saw hairy beer butts.
You know, when you said “nekkid people” I thought you were just kidding. Then, I scroll down, and wow. There’s a butt. Just, wow. Amazing.
Also, I have missed you.
Heather´s last [type] ..Pin It and Do It Challenge – Shrimp
Hah! Good to know I can still surprise people.
And I missed you, too.
This was such a fun post to read – thanks for sharing! I’m so curious about the other photos, but am thinking I should be grateful you didn’t share them.
Alyce´s last [type] ..Saturday Snapshot – May 26
There was a naked Santa (no picture, thank god) and one of the young kids (okay, he was in his 20s) saw him and screamed “Santa! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!”
It was probably funnier if you were there.
I. am. speechless. Only in San Francisco, lol!
JoAnn´s last [type] ..Saturday Snapshot #2
Yep.
I had to really look for that butt but I found it!! That is … um … something!! Gotta love San Francisco!!! I think it looks like a great time actually. Glad to hear from you!
Jenners´s last [type] ..Norwegian Wood Winner and Song Parody
The one with the flower pasties was better (worse?) but I didn’t want to totally shock you all.
I didn’t see the butt till you mentioned it either :p I’ve been to San Francisco more than a few times and nothing like this every spiced up those business trips
Only. in. San. Francisco. 
Patti Smith´s last [type] ..Saturday Snapshot – My homerun hitter
You need to plan those business trips for May.
Oh this is now on my list too….. I want to do this!!!
So many thoughts and I had a few “where’s Waldo” moments while looking at your pics:
pic #1: right side about half way up… does that dude have a box on Cheerios.. AND are they honey nut?
pic 3#: coming off the stairs… is that a nakkid guy? I spy! Oh and Care, buttman is wearing a black back pack on his back (rhymes!) and he is two to the right of the gut with the H on his back.
pic #5: policeman dude behind the golden pants is cracking me up and wait! Isnt he also Honey Nut Cheerios man???
Seriously as crowded as it is… could people actually run?
Sheila (Book Journey)´s last [type] ..City Of Bones by Cassandra Claire
The serious runners started early. We didn’t. Obviously.
And Waldo was there, too. He’s just not in the pics.
WOW. This is a certain kind of special I had no idea existed. I think this might be weirder than Mardi Gras, even. Thanks for sharing. Now I know where to find my people (the garden gnomes).
Andi (Estella’s Revenge)´s last [type] ..Story or Writing: What’s Your Flavor?
It was like Mardi Gras…I even have the beads. (Not that I had to flash anyone to get them.)
OMG! I wish I had known about this! I would have been there!
Vasilly´s last [type] ..Sunday Salon: Re-re-readathon!
There’s always next year…
I have always heard about Bay to Breakers – thanks for sharing the event with us! It does look like one big party! Congrats on doing it.
Colleen´s last [type] ..Review: Lucky Child by Loung Ung
All I could smell for the first two miles was alcohol. So yeah…there was definitely a party going on.
I know a couple of people from here that go out to SF every year for this, and they have come back with some pretty interesting stories! LOL-I love that two nekkid people snuck into that photo without you even knowing!
Dreamybee´s last [type] ..What I’m Reading Now-Unnatural Selection: Choosing Boys Over Girls, and the Consequences of a World Full of Men
They snuck into a lot more photos, too. They were pretty much everywhere I didn’t want them to be.
One of my friends went to San Francisco last year for this and said she had a blast – even if trying to run behind someone with a nekkid butt was kind of distracting. Sounds and looks like your group had a lot of fun!
Lisa´s last [type] ..Bleak House Readalong – We’re Done!
It was distracting while walking, too!
Congratulations on completing the race! Sounds like a fantastic (if sometimes visually scary, lol) time!
Amy Reads´s last [type] ..Review: Whipping Girl by Julia Serano
Wish I’d been there!
Shannon
shannon´s last [type] ..Sunday Salon – 05/27/12
Same time next year!
Like Chris…TOTALLY putting this on my bucket list. Gnomes? Yes! Ballsy Nekkid People? Yes! Beer? Not having to run? Ummmm…seriously. Why are there ANY FOLKS sitting at home during this event.
christina´s last [type] ..TSS – Worst. Week. Ever.
Nope…even the old folks home was lined up on the sidewalk in their wheelchairs watching everyone parade past!
Oh my gosh, this WAS quite the event, wasn’t it? I love that you shared these pictures with us and that you got a chance to be in on all the weirdness. But the naked people scare me.
zibilee´s last [type] ..The Lost Summer of Louisa May Alcott by Kelly O’Connor McNees — 384 pgs
Aww, they were harmless.
And that is why I love my fair city! Glad to see you had a blast!!
Amused´s last [type] ..Mailbox Monday: May 28, 2012
That looks like so much fun! I wish I could have been there for the Hammer time!
sakura´s last [type] ..The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan
Yes, us Californians are weird, but I’ve never quite experienced anything like this. Looks sort of so crazy that it would be fun. Not so sure about the nudity. I’d just rather not see other people’s private bits.
Kristi´s last [type] ..The Standalong/What I’ve Been Up To
I seriously do not know how those people walk that…naked.
Ti´s last [type] ..Review: Last Night at the Lobster
My boyfriend did Bay to Breakers this year, too. He was not one of the naked ones, though. (At least, not that I know of.) He and his friends were definitely some of the crashers drinking the whole way. I’m surprised you officially registered; when I asked him if he did, he just laughed!
Kari´s last [type] ..Fiction | An Enticingly Meandering Mystery
This is AWESOME. My sister lives in The Mission (I’m not sure how she strayed so far from her deep conservative Texas roots…I think that her going to UT in Austin was kind of like a gateway drug) so I wonder if she did the race. Will have to ask her. I do know that she frequently dresses up for random parades in the city but most of the time I’m pretty sure she’s clothed. Not sure about when she attends Burning Man. Yes, we are very different…
I LOOOOoooURVE your floppy hat.
Your blog entry came up on a web search I did, and your write up and photos were great. 2012 was my fourth Bay to Breakers in a row, which is saying something since I live in Texas. I plan on going again in 2013 if my son’s medical bills don’t wind up wrecking our finances. Why do I fly out to San Francisco every year just to do this race? Well, a lot of the reason is in your blog entry. It’s a street party like nothing I’ve ever experienced. But that alone wouldn’t be enough to keep me plucking down my hard-earned cash for plane tickets, hotel/hostel bills, and eating out for the entire weekend. What makes this special? I can do it naked in the middle of a massive crowd of people and in the middle of a major city.
People might ask why I would even want to do something like this naked. I’ve been a nude model for college art classes for almost 28 years (I was 18 when I started, and I’m almost 46 now), so nudity, especially my own nudity, is something I’ve embraced. I first read about Bay to Breakers, and more specifically the nude contingent called Bare to Breakers, in the ’90s, and I immediately wanted to do it. I kept hoping that, one of these days, I would happen to be in San Francisco on the right weekend of the year so that I could. Finally, in the summer of 2008, I realized that I would never get to do this race unless I actually made it happen. I cleared it with my wife, who has always been supportive of my nude modeling, and, since she declined to go herself, I booked myself a flight and hotel room for May of 2009.
I figured that doing this race naked was just something that I could cross off my bucket list. The morning of the race came, and I found myself in shorts and t-shirt somewhere around the starting area. I was with a group of other nudists, and as soon as the start was signaled, we all stripped down. What a rush! Some people kept on going past us, but others stopped and stared or took pictures or whatever. I’m used to being the center of attention in an art classroom, but this was something else. And it was so liberating to be outside among the crowd just as God had created me.
I don’t know how many people stopped to pose for a picture or two with me, but I accommodated every one of them. It was like I was a celebrity. I walked the entire course. I’ve run 5Ks before, but the Bay to Breakers was something that I wanted to prolong. I didn’t want to finish too soon and have to put my clothes on. And every once in a while, as I was walking, I would brush my hand across my waist and hip just to confirm that I wasn’t wearing anything. What a joy. We were all born naked, you know, and of all God’s creatures, we are the only one who have this compulsion to wrap ourselves in textiles even in situations where nudity would be much more comfortable. To this day, I hate wearing swimming trunks into the pool. Instead, we go out into the country to our nearest nudist resort to swim. The next time you’re sitting beside a pool in a cold, wet, sticky bathing suit, just think about how much more comfortable your body would be if that warm breeze were caressing all of your body.
Anyway, something I thought I would do once and cross of my bucket list became an annual tradition for me. My wife still hasn’t joined me, mainly for childcare and financial reasons, but one of these days she will. She probably won’t do it naked, but that’s fine. I kind of like the attention anyway (and the nude women at the race get a lot more attention than us naked guys).
And if you happen to still have your photos of the naked people, I would really be interested in seeing them just to see if you got any shots of me…