How To Be a Woman

How To Be a Woman
Caitlin Moran
audio narrated by Caitlin Moran
2011

Picture me standing on a chair yelling “This book is fucking amazing!”

1. The chair standing is Ms. Moran’s fault. She actually wanted me to yell “I am a strident feminist” but since this post is more about her book than my thoughts on feminism (although I would totally yell “I am a strident feminist” if I weren’t too embarrassed to do so in a public setting) I made a word substitution.
2. The cursing is her fault, too. Okay, not really. But if you think I have a potty mouth, boy howdy are you in for a surprise if you read her book.

I wish I had a modicum of Moran’s talent. She is funny as hell (and ruder than all fuck) but good lord can she also make damn good sense. She writes about everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING. Boobs, pubic hair, shoes, abortion…nothing is taboo in this book. And while the language can be totally in your face, she really does make you go “umm, yeah…that. Totally that.” I’d quote, but I listened to the audio and we all know I have a memory like Swiss cheese. (Which is why I went for the print version of Moranthology...well, and because Audible didn’t have it on audio.)

I know many of you have already read this, but if you haven’t AND you think a lot of what we do as women (Brazilian wax job anyone?) is ridiculous then by golly (thought I’d through in a golly to counteract all of the fucks) this is a book you need to read.

Oh! And I found quotes (thank you GoodReads):

“But, of course, you might be asking yourself, ‘Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don’t know! I still don’t know what it is! I’m too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn’t up! I don’t have time to work out if I am a women’s libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?’
I understand.
So here is the quick way of working out if you’re a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.

a) Do you have a vagina? and
b) Do you want to be in charge of it?

If you said ‘yes’ to both, then congratulations! You’re a feminist.”

“When statistics come in saying that only 29 percent of American women would describe themselves as feminist – and only 42 percent of British women – I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF SURVEY?”

“But as the years went on, I realised that what I really want to be, all told, is a human. Just a productive, honest, courteously treated human.”