MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend
Rachel Bertsche
2011
349 pages
True story: Girl moves to Chicago, gets married, and realizes she needs a local BFF. So she sets out to find one. Diligently. Like, beyond diligently. What follows is 52+ girl dates as the author searches for new friendsies. Most of the dates are duds, but some are promising. And by the end of the year, Bertsche has made herself some new friends (although none have quite attained BFF status by book end).
When I first started this book I thought the author was a neurotic whack-job (okay, not really on the whack-job part, but for reals on the neurotic neediness). And by the time I finished I was quite impressed by her willingness to put herself out there, not to mention by the energy it must have taken to go out on that many girl-dates. Good lord, I was exhausted just reading about it!
Also, I feel seriously deficient in the friend department. I need you all to move to California RIGHT NOW so we can bond over sushi (full disclosure though: I hate sushi) and drinks and we can go get pedicures after work and I can pour out ALL OF MY WOES to you after I call you up at midnight and you come running over, because that’s what friends do for each other.
Seriously? I don’t know about you, but all I want to do at 6pm is go home, eat dinner, and then relax with my book. I think I’m too old for this book.
Also, I feel like a total loser because I don’t have that many local friends. Thanks a lot, Bertsche.
I’m guessing the book didn’t strike a chord with you! lol
Ha! I read this book a while again and remember the author’s voice really getting on my nerves–her narrative voice that is, not her actual one (although that one might, too). I admired her enthusiasm for her project and could appreciate what she was saying about the importance of female friends, but honestly, I just can’t do that. My friends have to be as low-maintenance as I am, or our friendship will never last. I value my free time too much to keep that busy with it.
“while *ago*”, that is.
I think I need to not read this book. I haven’t had a BFF since high school, unless you count my husband or my sister. I imagine her quest would make me feel woefully inadequate.
I also think this book would wear me out. I have a few close friends, but they are really low-key kinds of people who you can choose to call or not, and it doesn’t affect the friendship. Like Beth says, I need friends who are low maintenance, and can’t imagine doing what this woman did!
I relate completely! My best friend lives out of state and it seems very complicated and strange to make new friends as a grown-up. If you want to move to NJ, I could come over after midnight….:)
I do want to read this book, but maybe I will save it for a time when I’m feeling really good about my relationships!
Good lord–just the thought of it all has me shaking in my anxiety-colored boots! Good thing I’m content being a hermit, I guess.
That’s all I want to do too when I get home. I send the husband out for groceries and the like and I just raise my eyebrows worriedly if he asks me to join him.
Making local friends is hard! I used to read this woman’s blog occasionally and thought she said a lot of interesting things. I have to be really really focused and methodical about it when I’m trying to make new friends, or else I would be inside all night every night and never interact with another human being.
Yeah, I think this book would make me feel the way it made you feel. It’s hard making lady friends, for me anyway.
Girl, I’ve never had a BFF unless you count my husband. I don’t even have a sister, and my relationship with my mother is…ahem…painful at best. There are times where I wish I had someone who could help me out, listen when I need a shoulder, or just help me get out of the house (when I really could end up imitating Sandra Bullock from The Net and never leave my house at all) for something other than errands with the kids. That being said, why would I want to put myself through having to go on girl dates just to find someone? The last time I dated anyone was almost 20 years ago, and I married him. Do we really need girl BFFs if it setting up a prolonged job interview? And why the hell would anyone want a friend who “hired” you for the role? I don’t get this, but then again, I’ve never had a girl BFF so maybe I’m jaded?
I heard about this book a few years ago I think. Sounds crazy! Just relax and let things happen.
You actually ARE one of my “local” friends, and we live about 3 hours away from each other!
I would be quite content sitting in my home most nights, but at some point I need to interact with friends. I’ve got a good group of them, fortunately, but I feel like I could always use more.
Having said that, we could totally bond over sushi. Since neither of us likes it, that would give us something in common right there.
I’ve just finished reading Quiet by Susan Cain and I’m thinking maybe we’re all just a bunch of introverts? I would love to have local friends but that crap is hard. I rather just read a book and interact with everyone online.
I want to read this book because I like the idea of it. Where does she find these 52 BFF’s to ‘date’? Anyway, right now BFF making is not in the cards, but at least I have the internet with my book buddies
As someone who has moved a lot and have always been a bit jealous of the ladies who have their besties and always seem to have someone to shop with, etc, I think I am finally realizing that my far flung friends across the nation and now the globe thru blogging, are also a special treat that the ‘local ladies’ will never have. They limit themselves to some kind of finite number; they don’t get that friends CAN come and go for a reason and that it’s OK, and that you can find best friends online. I always have cool places to visit and KNOW people when I get there.
Plus there’s the realization that I prefer to shop by myself, really.
Your review made me laugh, it was wonderful. While I love the idea of having lots of friends, I am more of a just a few close friends kind of girl. I can’t imagine going on a girl-date with 52 women. Oh.my.word. I’m getting nervous just thinking about it. Thinking that, as others have commented, that I can pass this one up.
Dana
Ha, I was coming in to make the same comment as Vasilly. Great (introverted) minds think alike!
Because while the idea of having a BFF to do tons of stuff with sounds fun in theory,
Seriously? I don’t know about you, but all I want to do at 6pm is go home, eat dinner, and then relax with my book.
this.
Local friends? What are those? Sigh. Thank goodness for the internet.
I’ve always been curious about this book. I’ve been trying to cultivate more female friendships (with people in real life — not just online) and somehow it got me sucked into the PTO.
I really had absolutely, positively no desire to read this book. I still don’t. I guess I should admire her for setting out to meet a BFF but I find the concept — I don’t know — unappealing.